Ariana Grande & Bowen Yang Take Lie Detector Tests

Do you believe?

In the moon?

In the moon?

You know, I hear, I hear it.

You're not helping your case.

The truth is, I don't give a rat's [beep]

[Bowen] Yeah.

I'm worried about earth [beep] it.

We're burning alive.

Thank you.

Who gives a [beep] about the moon?

How did you get me here again?

[Female Voice] Ariana. Bowen.

We brought you here today to take a lie detector test.

One of you will be hooked up to the machine

while the other will ask the questions,

and then you'll switch.

This is Stephanie, our polygraph operator.

Lovely to see you again.

Lovely to see you again.

What's the vibe between you two? Is it, um?

Love.

Maybe I'm, I'm at a disadvantage here

because we don't really have a rapport quite yet.

We don't.

Damn it.

[Female Voice] Who wants to be in the hot seat first?

Um.

I like to get it over with.

Yeah? Okay.

I like to get it over with.

Great.

Oh no. I'm back home.

Arms up for me.

Did I have that the last time?

It's a

Yeah.

updated equipment we've got.

It is! I'm really learning the ropes

And the cords.

Ooh.

Oops, I'm sorry. That too tight?

No, it's all right. We're good. I like it.

I wanna make sure you're getting the truth this time,

[Bowen laughs]

because I feel a little bit like we have some air to clear.

For me, that moon thing. That doesn't sit well with me, so.

Sure.

Because I think sometimes I get nervous.

[Bowen] Right.

And I have

Sure.

You know, is it picking up truth or lie

or is it just picking up waves of panic?

The moon landing has happened.

And so what if it didn't?

And fuck off if it didn't.

Let Stanley Kubrick work.

Ariana, we're going to ask you a few questions

to calibrate the lie detector.

Is your full name Ariana Grande-Butera?

Yes.

Is your birthday January 20? Fine?

Sorry.

Please feel free to interrupt me at any time.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bowen] Is your birthday January 26th?

[Ariana sighs] No.

Took you a minute.

[Ariana] See?

Is that the truth?

[Bowen laughs]

That is the truth, that's not my birthday

[Stephanie] Because we're just,

we're getting the baseline here. Okay?

See, I'm just, I'm frantic.

It's not lie or truth, it's hell.

[Bowen laughs]

When is your birthday?

June 26th.

Okay, thank you.

Stephanie's good. Are you nervous?

Yes.

But also like, in a fun way.

Totally. Stephanie, are we ready to go?

[Stephanie] We are calibrated.

I missed calibrating with you.

[Bowen laughs]

I did.

I initially wasn't going to be in Wicked

due to an SNL conflict.

But you called this person to ask him to let me do it.

Oh, yes.

Did he give you any pushback?

Yes. He said Hello, Ariana. What do you want?

And I said, Hi Lorne. Oh my goodness, I miss you.

It's so good to to to speak to you. I, I I, miss you.

And he said, Yes, what's what, what's going on?

[Bowen laughs]

And I said I would love, I would do anything

if we could make it happen for Bowen

to come be in Wicked.

And he said, Well, you know, I mean,

the reason why you want him,

Is this fine? Should I stop?

Yeah.

I'm gonna put it down.

The sense memory is I smell the popcorn.

I'm, I'm in 30 Rock right now.

This is, it's Saturday.

Yeah. And he said, Well, you know,

he's everyone's favorite on the show

and that's why you want him to be in Wicked so badly.

And that's why, you know, so we need him to be in the show.

But if you can work something out,

And we did.

And we did.

[Bowen] Here I am.

But that was what he really said.

I mean, he's got a point.

He's got a point. I think you clinched it for me. Truly.

But I love him and I'm so, so, so grateful.

He loves you. I have a question.

Can you believe I called him? That's scary.

I really couldn't believe you did that.

And that was before we, you and I had even like met.

Would you say you have a lot of pull in Hollywood?

[Ariana laughs] I don't know that I'm a, a puller.

[Bowen] Yeah.

But I guess in certain, I don't know.

I could make a call if I need to, but I don't like to pull.

No.

No. I, I've pulled for Aaron Simon Gross one time with

The best

With Salt & Straw.

I, no, because my dear friend Aaron.

[Bowen] Aaron Simon Gross

Was desperate to try the November flavors

From Salt & Straw.

[Ariana] From Salt & Straw.

So I, I picked up the phone and I really tried my best.

I said, Hi. I know this sounds ridiculous,

but it's October 30th and he's leaving.

Is there anything we can do? We'll come by,

after hours, we'll do anything we can.

I really tried. That's really, it's like that,

and calling Lorne are the only times in my life.

And can I propose a third one that you've already

kind of put yourself out there for in a very noble way.

What?

[Bowen] Which is to maintain

the Hollywood Tower of Terror at Disney World.

See, when it matters, I like to get involved.

Me, Hollywood Tower of Terror, Salt & Straw.

[Bowen] For Aaron? Yes. For Aaron.

Aaron's ice cream orders.

Preserving the iconic Tower of Terror,

may it stand tall.

[Bowen] Ari?

Yeah.

[Bowen] You were spotted at Wimbledon with this person.

Oh!

Were you two whispering about

how I should have been there with you?

Oh my gosh.

You know, I don't remember what we were whispering about.

This is quite an intimate photograph.

But you should have been there with us.

I just don't remember what we were saying.

Is that the truth?

She's telling the truth.

That's very nice.

Always.

[Stephanie] [Bowen laughs] Always

Always

Always.

Why wasn't I invited?

Well, I was a guest of Jonny's. He invited me.

I had never been.

And to be honest, I don't, I, I don't know that I

would've gone without him inviting me

because it was just so lovely to have a friend,

you know, ask me to go.

I don't usually go to things like that.

And I couldn't really see the ball, the um,

The tennis ball?

The ball. Yeah. The ball.

But I had a lovely time.

Love this guy. What a gem.

Who doesn't?

Do you two and Cynthia have a group chat without me?

Us and Jonny?

[Bowen] Yeah.

I'm sure at some point there was

a conversation that was had.

We don't have an active one that is the three of us.

We'll all like get on the same one if we're like,

Hey, saw you in this, great job.

But no one's like telling each other their

coffee order in the morning.

No.

[Bowen] Or what happened?

We see each other and we text individually.

[Bowen] Yes.

There are lots of group chats with Jon.

Yes, M. Chu.

But there's not like a big old Wicked group chat.

We respect our, our time.

Yeah. We are close enough individually, you know?

[Bowen] Yes.

I don't think that group chats are a good measure

of closeness or a good measure of intimacy

or quality of friendship, to be frank.

Yeah.

So yes, I guess, but no.

Is she telling the truth?

She has been truthful. Yes.

I don't even know what I said.

I was paying attention.

Okay.

Have you ever talked about how funny I am?

Always!

Always?

The machine is detecting a little bit

of deception there.

That's crazy, why would?

That's okay.

Bowen.

[Bowen] It's okay.

Listen, you're funny. Okay.

Hey, thanks. Thanks man.

Listen, Bowen. We always talk about how funny you are.

Every time I come from finishing a scene with you,

I'm like, Bowen said the funniest thing, I was shitting.

This girl shits every take.

I slapped you one time

because you said something so funny that I slapped you.

Where did you slap me?

In Dillamond's classroom.

Yes,

I did. The thing about the strawberry bush.

[Bowen] Right.

The last time you were in this hot seat,

the machine was inconclusive

on if you believed the moon landing was real or not.

Yeah. And I know.

[Bowen] Would you like a chance to redeem yourself?

No. I wanna move past it.

I think we're still gonna talk about space.

That's okay. I love space.

[Bowen] Do you believe it now

that these women went to the moon?

No, because they didn't.

They orbited the earth

or went for a few minutes up and down.

Twelve.

[Ariana] Twelve.

Ding, ding, ding.

Right?

That was a trick question, they didn't go to the moon.

Are you sensing my general nervousness

about the moon arriving?

I am.

We're gonna get to the bottom of this.

Of course you are, I'm deeply traumatized.

It's not lie or truth. It's PTSD.

It's hell. Katie Perry sang to her fellow travelers,

Jonathan Bailey reference, while they were in space.

Oh.

[Bowen] Would you do the same

if we were in the next Blue Origin crew?

No.

[Bowen] Would you sing 34 plus 35?

Well, I wouldn't sing in space.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that trip personally.

Even though you love space as you've

I do love space.

Yeah. I'm staying right here for now.

I think it's, it makes sense.

[Bowen] Yeah.

I'll look from my yard

or from a plane staying not, you know,

breaking certain layers.

[Bowen] You also said in your last lie detector

that you would like to confront

an impersonator, but haven't yet. Be honest.

Did I say that? Is that what you got from that?

I don't confront, I wouldn't confront.

Confront just the general people

who would do impressions of you.

No, I, no, no, no, no.

Do you have a good impersonation of me? I bet you do.

No, I have like,

You can do the gay guy voice.

Okay. Alright.

[Bowen laughs]

No, I have like little isms that I love

that you do that I notice.

Like when we're being silly and you go, come.

Come.

Come.

[Bowen] I beckon.

Or when or when you go, All right, I'm gay.

[Bowen claps]

But I don't want that to be

the most interesting thing about me.

Before we move on, anything you wanna clear up about the

moon before we move on?

Oh God. Clearing up about the moon.

[Bowen] Do you believe

In the moon?

In the moon?

I do.

[Bowen] Do you believe that there is

a flag planted on the moon?

Because a lot of people have looked

at HD photography of the moon

Bowen.

And they go, Where's the flag?

You know, I hear both arguments.

[Bowen laughs]

I hear it.

You're not helping your case.

You're not helping my case.

The truth is, I don't give a rat's ass.

I'm worried about Earth, God damn it!

We're burning alive.

[Bowen] Period.

We're killing each other.

Can we worry about Earth for five minutes?

Thank you.

Who gives a fuck about the moon and the flag?

[Bowen claps]

How did you get me here again? You guys!

[Bowen] You guys.

Please God. Help!

[Bowen] Help us.

Did you lie at any point

during this interview and we didn't catch you?

No.

Stephanie?

That is the truth.

[Bowen gasps]

[Bowen] I love you. I love you.

[Bowen] I miss you already. I miss you already.

I'll see you on the other side.

It's bear week.

[Ariana laughs]

[Ariana] Do you need help?

Do I need help?

Stephanie?

Do you wanna help me?

[Bowen] Get in here.

[Ariana] Like that? Oh, like that.

Oh,

I did it wrong.

Bowen, we're gonna ask you a few questions

to calibrate the lie detector.

Is your full name Bowen Yang?

Yes. No middle.

Same.

Hot.

[Ariana] Were you born in Australia?

I was. In Brisbane, Australia.

[Ariana] Are you nervous?

I now I, my heart just raced for no reason.

But I am a supplicant to the truth.

Yeah. Stephanie, are we ready to go?

We are ready to go.

[Ariana] Okay.

The machine has been calibrated.

[Ariana] Okay.

You kissed me during an SNL sketch

and then apologized afterwards

for opening your mouth too much.

Hmm.

[Ariana] Be honest. Did you do that on purpose?

No.

Inconclusive.

[Bowen] Yes, of course you did. Wow!

[Ariana] It was funny, right?

It was funny, but it was in the heat of the moment.

Like I really

Yeah, honor the bit.

I was dropped in.

[Ariana] Yeah.

And so were you. I'm so biased.

One of my favorite performances of you, ever.

Oh my gosh, thank you.

[Bowen] You channeling Joan.

And of you.

Thank you.

But I get it I mean, the kiss, I didn't even,

we didn't even notice, you know?

Did you enjoy it? The kiss? Kissing me?

Did you enjoy kissing me, Bowen?

It was the only, it was the only time I've kissed someone

where a crowd screamed in horror.

[Ariana laughs]

So I think I liked it.

Yeah.

That's the only time I've gotten like positive

or just like exclamatory feedback on a kiss.

And so yeah. Sure.

So that's an, that's an interesting sensation.

I, I recommend that to everyone.

Do you think I was a good kisser?

[Bowen laughs]

[Bowen] Your face! Oh!

[Ariana] Did you think I was?

Yeah. You were really good.

Stephanie.

Inconclusive.

What, no! I, I'm just

[Bowen] He's gay! But he's gay. But he's gay.

Pardon me, gay.

[Bowen laughs]

Was I better than this woman?

You were.

Because she and I, um, did it in a very, like,

in a very like, rushed way.

'Cause we were losing, she, she had

to go downstairs for blocking.

We were like, okay, we gotta get Sydney out.

We gotta shoot Sydney out in like the next five minutes.

I was like, okay, we're just gonna do it.

And then we had an intimacy coordinator, lovely woman

who was like, keep the lips closed, no tongue.

And I was like, got it.

I didn't think I had tongue in yours. Did I?

I don't remember.

Yeah.

I didn't feel it, I was dropped in.

We, we blacked out.

We blacked out.

[Ariana] Okay, this person said on your podcast

that authenticity is dangerous and expensive.

Do you agree?

No. But I, I know what she means

and I've been faced with this existential question

ever since she came.

I mean, she's an icon. No one I love

or respect more comedically.

And so it's, I'm still on the journey,

but I don't think it is expensive or dangerous.

Keep it real.

Keep it real with modular

hits of skirting

Protection.

Protection, protection is actually so important.

Mmhmm. Early in your career,

you gained recognition for lip syncing

iconic pop culture moments.

Were those easy for you to do,

because you're an icon as well?

Those were really hard to do

because I wanted to get them precise

and because I loved drag so much, I still do.

But it was about like, getting it perfect.

And this was like, before it was a thing on TikTok.

This was like right between dub smash and TikTok era.

So there was that little zone that I kind of got in

and then I dipped out immediately.

But no, it's not because I'm an icon too. What?

[Ariana and Bowen laugh]

[Ariana] You are.

We've actually, we've a,

we've cracked this open in therapy, y'all.

There, there's a huge inferiority complex

swimming underneath.

Alright. Do you have a rider?

I do.

Are you picky about what brand of water you drink?

Not about the water. I do like, this isn't a brand,

I do prefer New York tap.

Hmm.

And the rider is just bananas and Red Bull.

Love.

Do you prefer drivers who don't speak?

[Bowen laughs]

Um, there are some drivers who take you down

a wormhole conversationally

and we all know what I'm talking about.

And then you look over at like their Sirius XM

and it's like the Meg and Kelly show.

You're like, crap. But I just had a lovely conversation

with one the other day.

Danny, if you're out there, his son's at Brooklyn Tech,

smart kid, you know, I love conversation.

Me too. Human connection. Making friends.

Yeah I want, I want connection.

But also, at a certain hour I just kind

of wanna like pop my headphones in

and listen to, to tunes.

That makes sense. Yeah.

Would you say that this person is more

of a pop culture icon than this person?

Wow. Really tough.

So I'm looking at Mariah Carey

and Miranda Priestly, not Meryl Streep.

There, that's an important distinction to make here.

Mariah. No question.

They occupy such different spaces

in pop culture. It's hard.

But they're commanding women

and there's an societal obsession

with them either in exalting or taking them down.

And I feel like, I don't know

what the Devil Wears Prada 2 is about,

but I imagine that's gonna be Miranda's story.

Ooh.

Or it was, it kind of was hers in the first one.

Whatever. Aline Brosh McKenna. You legend. Screenwriter.

Yes.

Is any of this registering?

You've actually been telling the truth this entire time.

[Ariana] Do you think the Bowen is straight sketches

have made any gay women straight due

to your undeniable sexual charisma?

I am sure there is a barista in Pittsburgh.

Yeah.

Who wants to have sex with me.

[Ariana] Yeah.

But I don't know if it was before or after.

Right.

And this barista is lesbian by the way.

Probably a few.

Listen.

Tell you what, great work.

[both laugh]

This person prank called you for Elle magazine

and you didn't know who she was when you answered.

Did you really not know who it was?

Yes. I did not know who it was

because she was calling from another phone

and so I just didn't recognize the number.

Hmm. So you didn't recognize her number.

Now you do have her number?

Yes.

Okay. The last question, did you lie at any point

during this interview and we didn't catch you?

No.

That was also inconclusive.

But

But he's

He's gay

[Bowen] Gay.

I probably, I'm probably lying about the lesbian.

No lesbian wants to have sex with me.

[Ariana laughs]

So many other options.