Dave Franco & Alison Brie Take Lie Detector Tests

Do you ever get the ick about me?

No.

That was a lie.

[Alison laughs] Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was the first, like, objective lie.

[both laughing]

[loud clanging]

[Host] Alison, Dave, we brought you here today

to take a lie detector test.

Mm-mm.

[Host] One of you will be hooked up to the machine

while the other will ask the questions.

Immediate.

Just heart going- I know. [laughs]

[Host] And then you switch.

Hmm. This is Stephanie.

Our polygraph operator.

[Alison] Hi, Stephanie.

Hello, Stephanie. Hello. Hello.

[Host] Who wants to be in the hot seat first?

I'll go. I'll go.

I think so. Yes.

I knew it was gonna be me. Let's do it.

Let's get it outta the way.

[tense suspenseful music]

All right. So, I'm gonna put this

around your chest. Okay.

How's that feel?

I feel great.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

So, to begin, I'm going to ask you a few questions

to calibrate the machine.

Okay.

Is your full name David John Franco?

Yes.

Were you born on June 12th?

Yes.

Are you about to take a polygraph test?

I am.

Are you nervous?

Yes and no.

I feel like I got nothing to hide,

but also my heart's going pretty quick.

Good answer. Yeah.

Covered all the bases.

The machine is calibrated.

All right. Let's go.

[loud clanging]

Our new movie Together

marks our fifth time working together.

Do you work with me so much

because you're afraid to tell me no?

No, no.

I work with you so much because I love working with you.

That is the truth.

[both chuckling]

Is there anything in our lives

that you begrudgingly say yes to?

I truly think the answer is no,

but I think you might have a different answer for me,

which would be taking out the trash?

[Alison gasps]

Cleaning the cat's box.

But it's not begrudging.

I just am not great at it, but I'm trying to be better.

Do you wish you never had to take out the trash?

No. That's what I'm saying.

I like taking out the trash.

I'm just not good at, like, having it part of my routine.

That's the truth.

I'm just asking you a yes or no question.

Next question.

[blows air] What about when I ask you

if you like my outfit?

I feel like I'm pretty honest about that.

I'll tell you if I don't like something.

That's true. Do you like this outfit?

I do. I think it's very cute.

He's telling the truth.

Thanks, honey.

Am I your favorite collaborator?

Yes.

That is the truth.

Oh my God.

Do you like working with me

more than you like working with this person

who you've also worked with five times?

I love working with you

and I love working with Seth Rogan.

If I had to choose,

I like working with you a little bit more.

That is truthful.

Whoa.

Truthful. Truthful.

Would you say I'm easier to work with than Seth?

No, I think you guys are both extremely easy to work with.

I have known both of you for many, many years

and I feel very safe with both of you on a set.

The machine is picking up some deception here.

Interesting. Whoa.

I really wanna tell you the truth and I think that's it.

But let me just try to, like, mine my inner conscience.

So, you think it's easier to work with Seth than with me?

[laughs] I don't think so.

I think it's even.

Sounds like your truest self

believes it's easier to work with Seth.

You know what? You know what this could be

if I'm really reading into this,

is that when I think about working with you,

part of that is when I'm a director,

and so there's a lot on my plate,

and maybe it's a little bit more stressful.

And when I'm working with Seth,

I'm usually just acting in his projects

and I feel kind of like taken care of by him

as the director or the writer.

Sure.

He is being truthful.

Okay. We got to the bottom of that.

We got it. Good. Yeah.

On his show, The Studio,

you play an extremely inebriated version of yourself.

Be honest.

Did you go method for this role?

Um, no.

The truth is,

I kind of sort of remember maybe having half a beer

before my first scene just to loosen things up.

And that speaks to just how wild and crazy I am these days

where half a beer gets me going.

[Alison giggles] But no.

A kid came up to me the other day and was like,

Oh man, I wish I could party like you

in 'The Studio', man.

And I was like, Me too.

And he's like, You don't party like that?

And I was like, Nah, I'm pretty boring these days.

And he was like, Oh, so it was acting.

Like, he figured me out and I was like, yeah, man.

[Alison laughing]

All truth. Yes. [laughs]

What if I just made up that story?

Yeah, that would be a long lie.

[Dave] Yeah.

At least that's what they say about good liars.

The specificity.

When was the last time you over-served yourself?

Mm. We don't over-serve ourselves often these days.

Hmm.

The first thing that comes to mind

is 13 1/2 years ago when we met.

[Alison laughing] The day we met,

we over-served ourselves pretty hard.

You came up to me with a beer and said,

I put so Molly in this and I think we should share it.

And the rest is history.

What's the most times

you've drunk dialed me on a night out?

I genuinely don't know if I've ever drunk dialed you.

Have I ever

drunk dialed you? I was gonna say,

you know, I actually have my phone here and-

What? That's not part of this.

I might've saved

some of your early drunk dials from 13 1/2 years ago.

You're in the hot seat here. Not me.

[Dave] Here we go.

[Alison] Baby, baby, baby...

[Dave] There we go.

Disappointing to hear your nonchalant, Yooo...

That's my voicemail.

[Alison] In the middle of the evening.

After I've been drinking, I just wanna hear your

[indistinct]

Why are you drunk texting me right now as I'm calling you?

That makes no sense. Indecipherable mumbling.

[Alison] I'm gonna hang up,

and then read your text message,

and then I'm going to call you back again.

So just know that.

[both laughs]

Bye.

That's enough.

I think we're done asking Dave questions.

In the film Somebody I Used To Know,

you directed me in a kissing scene featuring this man.

Do you ever wish you hadn't done that?

No. No.

It was, you know, the part you were playing

required a romantic love interest.

When I'm directing I, if possible,

I try not to act in the movies too.

I wanna focus on everything behind the camera.

And Jay Ellis was a gentleman. We love him.

I do not regret it.

That is the truth.

Is there anyone else you would want

to direct me in a love scene with?

No.

I mean it's like, as much as it's part of our jobs

and we're okay with it, I'm not like,

eager to see you in a love scene with someone else.

I'm not running towards that, so no.

You don't have a list of guys

that you'd like- I do not.

To see me kissing? [wheezing]

He's telling the truth.

You once said in an interview

that you think I'm a better actor than you.

Do you really believe that?

I do. I do.

I think it's close.

I think it's like 48/52.

You're in the lead.

But you're like someone who could be incredible

on Saturday Night Live where you're very good

with impressions and accents,

and just inhabiting characters.

Lorne? Did you hear that, Lorne?

There we go.

So yeah, I'm gonna give you the edge.

All truth.

That's where you think I have the edge?

That's one of the areas.

My impressions? Yeah.

What's my best impression?

You do very strange ones.

I can't even like, this is a deep hole,

but actually I'm not gonna say that.

Let me think of another one.

Literally anyone. Do Stephanie.

That's correct.

[both laughing]

Sorry, Stephanie. We just met.

I haven't had a lot of time.

It was spot on. Yeah.

So, I'm on Instagram, but you are not.

Do you think that makes you morally superior to me?

No.

The machine is picking up a little bit of deception here.

Do you think I spend too much time on Instagram?

I actually don't.

I think you have a very healthy relationship with it.

You basically only post about work

and you're not on your phone a crazy amount.

He's telling the truth.

Yes.

Do you secretly stalk my Instagram page?

No, I wouldn't say stalk. I've seen it.

At one point, me and my buddy,

we had a minimalist wallet company

and so we have a page on Instagram for that.

And so, I'll use that to peruse every once in a while

and I'll come across your page.

And even though we talk about everything,

every once in a while I'll come across

something on your page where I'm like,

We didn't talk about that and I wanna know about that

because I wanna know everything about you.

Oh my God. He turned it romantic.

Romantic and truthful. There we go.

Wow. You get mistaken for this person quite a lot.

Be honest. Has it ever annoyed you?

No. No.

I think we used to get mistaken for each other,

or at least me for him when we were both much younger.

Objectively handsome man. I'm flattered.

That is the truth. Aw.

Do you prefer to be mistaken for this person?

[Dave chuckling]

Prefer is a strong word.

[Alison laughing]

It's definitely a more unique, strange circumstance

when I'm mistaken for this person.

But if I knew nothing about him,

so I'm walking down the street and someone said,

You look like that guy.

I'll take that.

He's telling the truth. Whoa.

Have you ever pretended to be Zach

to get a dinner reservation?

No.

What about Luigi?

No.

That like, hey, I'm outta jail, guys, for the night.

They let me have a quick omakase. Let's do this.

[both laughing]

You auditioned for the role of Edward Cullen in Twilight

but didn't get it.

Mm. Sorry.

[Dave] That's okay.

Do you feel like they made a mistake by not casting you?

No. No.

I was not ready to be the lead of a film like that

and was not ready for the kind of attention

that would've come.

Hmm. That's the truth.

Since you didn't get the role,

does that mean you're Team Jacob?

No. I think I'm Team Edward.

But also, I like Jacob. I don't discriminate.

Inconclusive. Interesting.

Maybe I am Team Edward.

Is that true?

Again, inconclusive. Wow.

So on the fence.

You know what?

Really split. Team K-Stew.

That looks like the truth. That's the best

of the three. Wow.

Yeah. Okay. All right.

We like that.

Did you start writing and directing

so you could bypass auditioning?

No. That wasn't the reasoning.

But that's like,

a nice thing that has come from it, I guess,

where it's nice to kind of not have to depend on others

and I can create things for myself.

And you know, as an actor

there's so much that's outta your control.

You can go in on 50 auditions and do a really good job

but you just might not be right for the part.

And so, it's nice to just kinda have

a little control over everything.

Have you ever bombed an audition?

Oh yeah.

Which one? My worst audition ever.

I think it was like my second or third one ever.

And I went in for Allison Jones, who is one of the best

comedy casting directors in the world, if not the best.

And I did the audition and it went fine.

And then afterward she said,

Can you slate for me real quick?

And at the time I didn't know the terminology.

Slate basically just means

to look into the camera and say your name.

So I was like, Sorry. One more time?

And she goes, Oh, just slate real quick.

So what I heard is, Can you sleep real quick?

So I said, Okay.

I got comfortable, I put my head back

and I started sleeping for her.

And she was like, No, no, no.

And I was like, What?

And so, we laughed it out and as I was leaving,

she was like, I can't imagine

what was going through your head

when you thought I asked you to sleep.

I'm like, I don't know.

I'm gonna sleep so good for you though.

Just give me this part.

[both laughing]

So yeah. Oh my.

What? That was not truth?

[both laughing]

Well, we're at the last question.

Okay.

Did you lie at any point during this interview

and we didn't catch you?

No.

Truthful.

Great job, babe.

[exhales deeply] We did it.

[loud clanging] Oh my God.

This is gonna go around your chest.

Yes. Arms up.

Does that still feel secure?

Yeah.

[Velcro ripping]

Pretty nail color.

Thank you.

I'm going to ask you a few questions

to calibrate the machine.

Okay.

Is your full name Alison Brie Schermerhorn?

Yes, it is.

That feels like I'm making a joke, but...

Are you from Los Angeles?

Yes.

Are you about to take a polygraph test?

Yes.

Are you nervous?

Yes. Okay.

The machine is calibrated.

Ooh. Great. What's her baseline

calibration, like, compared to mine?

I think I'm more nervous.

I wouldn't necessarily say that.

Oh. Yeah.

[loud clanging]

[exhales deeply]

Okay. Our movie together is a horror movie.

[Alison] Yes.

Did you only do it so that no one else

would play my partner on screen?

No. [laughs]

So, you would say that you're not

as codependent as your character in the film?

That's correct.

I'm not as codependent as my character in the film.

Have you ever watched an episode of a show

without me and pretended you didn't?

Probably. Definitely.

[both laughing]

What you're good about though,

is you more than anyone I've ever met

are great at rewatching things.

This is true.

So, sometimes, I don't always tell you.

Yeah, okay. Yeah.

I definitely have watched.

You've watched entire seasons without me.

Look, do I finish seasons without you? Sure.

And then do I watch them again with you?

Yes. Yes.

Truthful.

Okay, your character on Mad Men

was the quintessential trad wife.

Do you believe in traditional gender roles?

No.

That's accurate.

Should women propose to men?

Yeah. Women can propose to men if they want to.

Sure.

If you had proposed to me instead of the other way around,

do you think it would've been smoother than what happened?

[laughs] Yes.

I do think if I had proposed to you, yes.

I think it would've been smoother.

But I would never have.

Isn't that funny?

[laughs] Interesting, interesting. What a conundrum.

You have said that you peed your pants

while wearing a girdle on set.

Yes.

That is the truth.

Do you wanna elaborate?

Well, look, I wasn't actually on set.

Ooh. She lied and got away with it.

Wow.

I was on my way to set.

You know, on Mad Men,

we wore all the 1960s appropriate undergarments.

The bras were elaborate with little pointy tips.

We wore full girdles that have a hole

that you can pee out of.

But I had kept my regular underwear on under the girdle,

which you're maybe not totally supposed to do.

Did you pee? Did you do this on purpose?

No! Oh.

And I was rushing to set, I was running late.

There was no time.

You know how it is when you're on set and they need you now!

And I was like, I have to pee before we shoot the scene.

Ran to the bathroom,

pulled the girdle hole open and just peed.

Like, let out a full pee. Okay.

But I didn't hear any pee hitting toilet water.

And then I realized as I felt a warm sensation

that I hadn't pulled my underwear to the side.

I just full- You let out

the full pee having not heard any noise of water,

of pee hitting water?

How do you stop? You can't.

Stopping mid? You can't stop mid pee?

Mid full pee.

I mean, I stopped a little. Have you ever stopped

mid pee? Clearly no.

It looks like she's telling

the truth. That's insane.

Stopped mid pee? Why would I have to?

You know, someone walks in on you,

you realize you're pissing yourself.

Well, in this one instance, it would've been good to stop

mid pee. Okay.

I don't think I stopped.

I think I just figured it out and then, you know?

Okay. Remedied the situation.

But and then I tried to pat everything dry,

but I went and shot a full scene.

It's in the show. Oh, wow.

I'm, uh, Pete's dad is dead,

and I'm holding, like, a small pink elephant.

And just know when you're watching that scene

that there's pee in my pants.

There we go. Okay.

You love watching this show.

Yes, I do.

Do you like the E version better than the Hulu version?

No. Oh.

I like the Hulu version better.

Okay. Why?

Well, look, I was a late adopter,

so I didn't watch all the really early years on E.

Sort of like started late.

I just liked the Hulu revamp.

I like how produced it is.

I just like, I just like that the gals are back on TV.

I don't care where. There we go.

Which sister would you say clearly

does not want to be on the show anymore?

Which sister does not want to be on the show anymore?

Kourtney. Oh.

I mean. [laughs]

I mean, she's just, she's so in love.

She's got a new life.

It's like, I think she wants to do her own thing

and hang out with her new family.

Stephanie?

She is telling the truth. Yeah.

If you had to be friends with one of the sisters,

is it safe to say it would be Khloe?

Yes. Okay.

Okay, speaking of shows that you love.

Sex and the City. Yes.

Do you think Carrie was a good friend?

Ooh. Whoa. That's exciting.

This is a huge question.

Carrie was not always a good friend. No.

I think sometimes she could be a good friend

and other times, not great.

You know, like, she called her boyfriend Aidan

to go help Miranda when she's naked on the bathroom floor.

And the naked Miranda got seen by Aidan

and that wasn't cool.

And then she brought over bullshit bagels.

Like, you know, Carrie could be a little selfish,

but that's what we love about her.

Would you say she is toxic?

No. Okay.

That was written. I didn't make that up.

How dare you. I know.

I felt that from you.

All of that was truthful.

Okay. Yes.

Have you watched And Just Like That?

Yes. I know.

Are you still watching And Just Like That?

Yes.

Interesting follow up question.

Would it be better if Samantha came back to the group?

[exhales deeply] Oof.

This is another heavy question.

I mean, undoubtedly the show would be better

if Samantha were there as a character,

but I just think there was so much unrest

amongst the cast members.

Like, clearly these women don't all jive together and-

That's okay. We shouldn't

make anyone do something they don't wanna do.

Certain people wanna be happy.

They don't wanna be unhappy even for one minute.

And they shouldn't have to be.

Not even for one minute.

Kim Cattrall said that.

And I- Oh. Oh, that's a quote?

[Alison] And I stand by it.

She's telling the truth. You have said on a podcast

that you are fiercely loyal to your friends.

Is that the reason that you called this person

your soulmate on Instagram?

Yes. Yeah?

Yeah.

Do you believe that you can have more than one soulmate?

Yeah.

Am I your soulmate?

Yeah. Okay.

That was the truth. Yeah.

I'll take all of that. [Alison laughs]

She, Betty, recently stepped in for this person

in the Broadway hit Oh, Mary!

Yes. Did you see it?

Yes.

This is a very cruel question.

Who did you enjoy more in the part? Betty or Cole Escola?

Wow. Wow.

Listen, listen to me and hear me when I say.

Okay. That they both

were incredible. Yes.

In their own ways.

Okay. I honestly think

I enjoyed both performances the same amount.

But like, just in a similar way

that you're just better than me at acting.

Which one would take the lead if you had to say?

I just think it was two very different experiences.

You know, Cole created the show.

They created this part for themselves to play,

and that's iconic.

I have never laughed harder in my life.

But watching Betty inhabit the role

and make it her own, I was sobbing.

I'm like the proudest I've, like a proud mom.

The proudest I've ever been.

They were both incredible. So, you're saying

they're exactly equal?

Yes.

It looks like she's telling the truth.

It looks like she's telling the truth.

And that's all we need to hear.

I play a magician in Now You See Me.

Be honest. Does that give you the ick?

No. I didn't think so.

It's the first time I've ever said the ick out loud.

Are you ever triggered by seeing a deck of cards now?

Triggered by seeing a deck of cards?

No. No.

Do you ever get the ick about me?

No. That was a lie.

[Dave] [Alison laughs] Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go on.

I don't know.

That was the first, like, objective lie.

[both laughing]

I can't think of a time

when I've gotten the ick about you, honey. [wheezes]

Inconclusive. Wow. Okay.

Do you wanna say anything or do you want me to go on?

You have to go on because I truly,

I truly can't think of a time.

But clearly, somewhere in my genetic makeup it exists.

But I'm so sorry.

Why are you getting teary eyed?

This machine's bullshit. Yeah.

There's a lot of activity happening right now.

I just wanna let you guys know that.

[both laughing]

We'll talk after.

On a scale of 1 to 10, if I did a magic trick right now,

how attractive would you find me?

I honestly find you very attractive when you're doing

those magic scenes. Now, you're just trying

to make up for the other question.

I think it's very sexy the way that you do magic.

Okay. Okay. Was that true?

That was, yes. See?

[Dave] Okay.

That was true.

Okay. Scale of 1 to 10.

Tell me how attractive, based on,

I'm just gonna try to hit that lamp.

Oh. Oh God, this isn't going well.

There we go.

Ooh, I'm gonna hit you.

Oh my god. Stop. Okay. How about this?

That wasn't great. 1 to 10 on that?

On how attractive that made you?

Um, six?

Okay. That's generous. Generous.

Pretty generous.

What about, oh, this isn't going well.

This is not going well.

Okay. How about this?

[cards swishing]

[laughs] I wish you could see your face

while you're doing it.

I have to concentrate.

It's been a year since I did these movies.

[both laughing]

So, very attractive?

Do you want me to rate you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That one we'll put it up at a 5 1/2.

[Dave] You went down. How about this?

[card swishing]

[all laughing]

Under the leg?

Come on. Come on.

Yeah. Maybe we're back up to six, babe.

Back up to six. We peaked at six?

Come on.

Seven.

That's a lie.

That was a lie. 10 of hearts.

[Alison] It's a jack.

That would've been good though.

[both laughing]

All right, last question.

Did you lie at any point during this interview

and we didn't catch it?

I don't think so.

I think you caught most of the lies.

And that is the truth.

[sighs] Get outta here.

[both laughing]

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